I'm the guy behind Husband Help Haven.
I'm not really the type to toot my own horn, so I'm just gonna keep this page simple and answer the three most common questions men ask about me.
Answers to 3 common questions about me
"How long have you been married?"
I have been married to my beautiful wife, Kalee, for 5 years. I have three children... Emilee (far right) is 16, Eden (second from right) is 4, and our baby boy Lyon (the one in Kalee's arms) is just 9 months old.
"Are you a marriage counselor?"
Nope. I am not a marriage counselor, pastor, therapist, or anything like that. Nothing I do here on Husband Help Haven is intended to replace or discourage counseling for the couples or individuals who need it.
"Then how do you know how so much about this separation stuff?"
Here's the short answer:
Experience. Since starting Husband Help Haven I have personally helped over 2,000 men going through separation. When you have that much experience, you start to notice patterns. Over time, I saw what worked and what didn't for helping men navigate separation in the best way possible.
Here's the longer, more personal answer:
I was on the outer edges of marriage crisis for most of my childhood. My parents divorced when I was 19, but I grew up knowing they had a not-so-great marriage. They had the stereotypical staying together for the kids. I have always been dead-set on doing everything in my power to wind up in a marriage that was polar opposite of theirs.
Unfortunately, when I found myself in a serious relationship with my now-wife, Kalee (below), I realized that I didn't really know what to do to secure my marriage.
Like all of us, I'd heard the statistic that 50% of marriages end in divorce. What else has a 50% chance? A coin flip. I think a lot of people treat great marriages like a coin flip, and bad marriages the same way. You either get lucky with a happy marriage or get unlucky with a bad one, but there's no control over the outcome.
But then, a friend of mine got divorced around the time I turned 21. I couldn't help but notice that he and my dad both handled marriage the same way - passively. They were both content in the back seat. This got a thought in my head that maybe marriages don't fail by chance... In fact, maybe there is something that I as the man am uniquely able to do to secure my marriage. I also had a wonderful mentor who helped me understand the biblical precedent of the husband practicing servant leadership.
This flurry of revelations is what made me want to start Husband Help Haven. It started as a personal side project back in 2011.
Within a few months, I started getting emails from men asking for help... They were on the brink of losing their marriages and wanted to know how to get their wife back. I'd always tell them, "Listen, I'm not a marriage counselor or anything, so I'll give you my advice but only apply the parts of it that make the most sense for you."
That's how it started. Free email coaching for a few men. I kept getting more and more emails from men going through separation. I spent countless hours trying to help and advise these men to the best of my abilities. The things I said seemed to help, I started seeing a few success stories, and finally I wrote my first book about it, Manly Marriage Revival.
Of course, I'm not done learning. And I still tell every coaching client and every course student the exact same thing:
"Listen, I'm just a guy on the Internet, you are ultimately the one working to save your marriage, so it's YOUR job to figure out the best plan for you. My job is simply to tell you what has worked well for other men who've been where you are right now."
Like I said, this was the longer story. I hope this answered all of your questions about me.
If not, feel free to shoot me an email. Keep in mind that while I do check my email daily, I get a LOT of emails these days and I simply cannot respond to all of my reader questions anymore. I am obligated to prioritize my students and those who have paid for my time.
Anyway, thank you for your interest in me and Husband Help Haven, and I hope you find what you need here.
Much manly love,