“My wife cheated on me; I’m struggling to cope with her affair and I can’t get the images out of my mind! What do I do?”
Do you feel nothing but rage when you imagine your wife breaching your love and trust with another man?
Perhaps just knowing that your wife is cheating has left you in complete and total shock, and you’re unable to contain the anger that boils inside of you?
Are you looking for a way to make the pain of your wife’s infidelity go away?
Well don’t pitch your wedding ring just yet; I know that infidelity hurts. I know that there aren’t many pains in this world that can compare to the feeling when your wife’s infidelity crops into your mind.
Today I’d like to talk to you about how to recover from her infidelity and finally work towards a revived marriage.
Learning to control the immense amount of emotion that wells up when dealing with your wife’s unfaithfulness will be one of the first steps in recovering from, or at least surviving, her affair.
As you continue reading this article, you’re going to be learning how you can control your anger and manage your emotions, especially in the context of your wayward spouse. If you can’t find calm among all the emotions twirling inside of you, then this is the article for you.
After all, it’s only natural that you’re angry and paranoid right now. Whether you’ve confronted her about the affair or not, sexual infidelity is enough to wreck any man. And honestly, most men cope MUCH worse than you are right now.
“My Wife Cheated on Me…”
Here Are 3 Tips to Help Contain the Emotion
When I was cheated on by my high school sweetheart, it nearly tore me apart…The amount of rage that I had built up inside of me took months, if not years, to work through and understand fully. And I’m sure that doesn’t compare to what you’re experiencing now.
Sincerely and truly, I’m sorry that you’ve been put in this position and that you now have to find a way to cope with a cheating wife.
Things will finally start to look up once you realize how to work with and use your emotion instead of letting it ruin day after day.
Here are 3 tips I put together that I think will help you if you’re thinking, “my wife cheated on me and I’m lost”.
My Wife Cheated on Me – Tip #1.
This is one of the oldest and most useful ways of relieving emotional stress…Intense physical work. Not only is it proven to be therapeutic, it’s something you can start doing right now, night or day.
It doesn’t have to be working out, and if you’re not really the ‘fit’ type you’ll need to find a substitute. Even if all you do is start taking a 30 minute walk every day, this will almost 100% guarantee you’ll think more clearly.
However, the fact remains that intense physical work, the kind that’ll make you sweat bullets, is one of the best therapies out there. So if you can, invest a few bucks in a punching bag or a kettle bell or a gym membership or something.
I promise it’ll make you feel better.
Physical work is the safety net for many men, and I always recommend it when possible.
My Wife Cheated on Me – Tip #2.
Identify What About Her Infidelity Makes You Mad
Many times the key to getting through the rage is to first understand EXACTLY where it comes from.
Okay, right now you’re thinking I’m an idiot.
I mean, obviously your mad that your wife cheated on you, right?
But here’s the thing…There are bound to be certain parts that make you more mad than others.
For example, many men hate the actual physical act of sex. For them it makes no difference whether their wife committed emotional infidelity or had a purely physical affair…It’s all the same, and it’s all equally painful for the betrayed husband.
So for many married men, the act of sex and physical contact is what they struggle to get over in an affair.
Other men, for example, find it hard to get over the fact that they’ve been lied to.
Still others can’t get over the fact that their wife wasn’t satisfied with their sex life; it shakes the betrayed spouse’s self confidence to the core.
Other men feel guilty or responsible, like they should have been able to stop the affair.
If you can identify exactly what you’re struggling to get over regarding your wife’s unfaithfulness, then you’re awareness will in and of itself make your life easier.
My Wife Cheated on Me – Tip #3.
Are You Angry About the Past Relationship?
Many times, any issues that you and your wife have had in the past will come up again around the same time that you find out about her cheating. If this describes you, then you need to take this as a sign and recognize that the easiest way to work through all of it is going to be to separate out each individual issue.
It’s much easier to forgive several little problems than one big one, so let each problem be it’s own problem, and you’ll soon start to see that healing your marriage actually isn’t all that impossible.
In this type of scenario, marriage counseling or individual therapy may be helpful.
If you believe that your marriage can be saved, and you’re willing to do everything possible to get your wife back, then it’s time for you to take action. Divorce doesn’t have to be how this story ends; just give yourself and your wife a chance to change.
Whatever you decide to do from here, I wish you the best of luck.
In the end, remember that life is short, and if you can salvage the love you had for your wife at some point and get back to the good days, then you should feel encouraged to do so. Not obligated, just encouraged.
If you’re the guy saying “Help! My wife cheated on me and I can’t let go of it!” then I hope this article has been helpful to you. No matter what’s happened, please feel free to browse around on HusbandHelpHaven.com for some more love advice.
Thanks for reading!
With much manly love,
With much manly love,
I'm Stephen, the guy behind Husband Help Haven. I'm not a marriage counselor or a lawyer, I'm just a guy on the Internet who has talked to a loooooot of men going through separation... Over 2,000 in the past 5 years. My goal is to give men the tools they need to save their marriage from separation. Read more here