It’s okay to admit that you don’t know how to show love to your wife. Many men (myself included) struggle with emotional transparency.
It’s tough to be totally honest, which is exactly what you’re trying to be when you explain your feelings to your wife. Most husbands eventually find that they have a hard time with showing genuine affection.
For some reason, our gender has been cursed with a complete lack of creativity and perspective when it comes to making your wife feel appreciated, loved, adored and supported. Men and women operate differently, and we have a hard time seeing it their way, sometimes.
But, when your wife feels attractive, when she feels wanted and when she knows how much you love her, you’ll find that many common relationship problems suddenly become a non-issue.
Love always wins, but it has to show up to the fight, first.
Relationships aren’t magic. Your choices and your romantic efforts have a direct correlation with the state of your marriage… Don’t wait for rock bottom before you make an effort with your wife. Start right now! Today! Show her appreciation, love and respect and you’ve won half the battle.
What’s that? You don’t know where to start? Would you like some help learning how to be romantic to your wife?
That’s exactly what Husband Help Haven is here for. There’s something in this list for everyone… Whether you’re one of the few husbands with a completely happy marriage already or one of the more common ones with a long ways to go, at least one of these 25 tips will help you.
So, without any further ado, here are 25 tips to show your wife you love her.
25 Ways to Show Your Wife You Love Her
Tip 1. Do a chore or knock something off your to-do list that you know she’d love you to do without her asking you to do it. When you serve her, she knows you appreciate her. Just don’t be her slave – that’s important. I talk more about this in 9 Essential Traits of a Good Husband.
Tip 2. Don’t be afraid to get ‘girly’. Leave little surprise notes for her every now and then to randomly remind her how much you love her. Find a way to say, “I love you,” every day.
Tip 3. Save money in your budget every month to spend spontaneously on your wife. Everyone loves surprises, and having a “love budget” is a good way to make sure they happen regularly. It should be just as much of a requirement as taxes, utilities or the TV bill. See more in Tip 7.
Tip 4. If she’s a stay at home mom, make sure you give her regular opportunities to get out of the house, or at least get time to herself. Even if it’s inconvenient for you, it’s important for the sake of your marriage. She has stuff she wants to do, too.
Tip 5. Praise her intelligence. Let her know that you view her as an equal mind (if not greater!). Don’t be afraid to learn from your wife, and tell her when you do. Admit that she’s better at your than something.
Have you ever seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall and Lily get into a fight about who’s the ‘reacher’ and who’s the ‘settler’ in their relationship? Make sure your wife feels reached for. Ideally you’re both reaching for each other.
Just make sure you do this in a way that doesn’t berate yourself. Confident compliments are worth a lot more than submissive, desperate ones.
Tip 6. If you want a wife who provides physical favors *ahem* then you should be a husband who also provides physical favors. Think stuff like a massage, back rub or leg scratch. Caress her and be affectionate with her, show her tenderness. It doesn’t always HAVE to lead to sex.
Tip 7. Take her out of the house; wine and dine her every once and a while. Give yourselves the opportunity to talk extensively with each other, without the kids around.
Tip 8. Let her know that you need her in your life and that you treasure her as your prime source of happiness. When she hears you say it, the idea is firmly ingrained in her mind. She will hold onto it, and it will give her support to be a better wife for you!
However, especially if your marriage is on the rocks, be careful not to sound like a beggar. Just like we said in Tip 5, don’t berate yourself in your praising of her.
Tip 9. Avoid complaining… This doesn’t mean avoiding real problems, but it does mean being positive about small errands like going to the store or picking up the kids. It also means doing your best to be optimistic, and to keep ol’ Negative Nancy out of the house.
Tip 10. Make sure you remember important dates by any means necessary. I know it seems obvious, but you’d be surprised how many husbands miss things like an anniversary, Valentine’s Day, or even her birthday. Mother’s day is a big one too.
Tip 11. This is going to sound strange and counter-cultural, but you should love your wife MORE than you love your kids. This doesn’t mean you should lower the importance of your kids, rather you should raise the importance of loving your wife. For the sake of your kids, put your marriage first.
Tip 12. As you’re trying to make your wife feel loved, one of your greatest enemies is yourself… Take time daily to let go of the stresses of life. Set aside time to focus on what matters and make sure your priorities are in order.
This is a great way to be more pleasant around your wife, and you’ll find yourself happier in general if you incorporate this into your routine.
Tip 13. Ask her honestly what makes her scared, what her fears are, and what she thinks is the root of those fears. You’ll learn a lot as long as you remain totally un-judgemental. Be a good listener, and ask her about her problems. Try to be helpful, and lead her through tough times.
Tip 14. Send her a text or call her during work; there’s no such thing as “too much” when you’re figuring out how to show your wife you love her.
Tip 15. Do you have kids? Is your wife a stay at home mom? Make sure you help get the kids out the door as much as possible every morning. If you leave for work early, at least take charge of preparing their sack-lunches or something like that. Do something to make those mornings easier. If possible, give her the chance to sleep in every once in a while.
Tip 16. Along a similar note, make sure you discipline your children when they’re disrespectful to either you OR your wife. And be careful not to undermine your wife… She hates that.
Tip 17. Exercise! Your wife loves you no matter what you look like, but she’ll really crave you if you put a bit of work into staying fit. Plus, it’ll make you manlier… If you really want to know how to romance your wife, this should definitely be a priority!
Tip 18. Reflect on what your relationship with your wife was like when you two first started dating. What could you do right now to remind her of your budding love back then? Give her a little taste of lovestalgia.
Tip 19. A lot of loving your wife comes down to adapting in attitude of proactivity. In other words, do things spontaneously, impulsively, and without being asked. Actively look for ways to love your wife – they’re there, I promise.
Love her impulsively, give her a gift spontaneously, and run errands without being asked… See a common trend? Women love knowing that they’re on your mind ALL the time. Hint: Spontaneity leads to a non-nagging wife!
Tip 20. Most couples stop cuddling with each other while watching TV or a movie after they’ve been married a couple years… Don’t be afraid to get cozy under the blankets and show physical affection the way you used to do.
Tip 21. Take special care of her when she’s sick. Pretty easy, but many men stop doing this after awhile. You’ll always make her feel so much better, and she appreciates being cared for.
Tip 22. Having company over is often much more stressful for the wife then it is for the husband. Be conscious of this, and be extra helpful and supportive when you’re going to have people over.
Tip 23. Most Important!!! Do NOT expect anything in return for your affections! If you do, then you’re making it about you, not your wife or her happiness. You’ll be amazed what can happen in a marriage where you selflessly love your wife. This is why desperation doesn’t get your wife back… Not only do you make yourself unattractive, but it’s also obvious that you’re being selfish.
And there you have it, 23 different ways for you to show love and affection towards your wife. Try incorporating even one or two of these into your marriage. Each of these tips can make a difference in the way your wife feels about you, one step at a time.
You can have a happy and healthy relationship with your wife… It doesn’t have to be hard, elusive, or take years of work to get to. You don’t need a marriage counselor, you don’t need therapy, and you certainly don’t need separation or, worse yet, a divorce.
You can and will have a happy marriage with your wife, and you have the power to make it happen!
Now, I know that you still have some questions about what you can do to show your love and have the marriage of your dreams.
Don’t worry, that’s normal! You have a couple options for what you can do from here. The best one is this:
Download Your Free Copy:
The 9 Essential Traits of a Good Husband
Otherwise, I have lots of other manly marriage advice for you. You can find some recommendations below this article.
No matter what you decide to do from here, I wish you the best of luck learning how to show your wife you love her.
You’re always welcome on HusbandHelpHaven.com!
Thanks for reading.
With much manly love,
With much manly love,
I'm Stephen, the guy behind Husband Help Haven. I'm not a marriage counselor or a lawyer, I'm just a guy on the Internet who has talked to a loooooot of men going through separation... Over 2,000 in the past 5 years. My goal is to give men the tools they need to save their marriage from separation. Read more here