Do you want to know how to tell your wife you want divorce?
Do you want to learn what to say, when to say it, and what to expect from your wife when you break the news?
As you continue reading this article, I’m going to be walking you through the process of telling your wife that you want a divorce. I know that this can / will be painful. I know that this is something that you don’t want to do, and I know that you’re probably scared you will somehow mess up and remain trapped in the marriage even longer.
And I KNOW you don’t want that! Being stuck in an unhappy marriage can ruin someone’s life.
No one plans on getting divorced, it just happens. There are as many reasons to get divorced as there are to get married… Sometimes deciding to divorce is avoidable, but sometimes it is not (at least, past a certain point).
- Poor communication…
- Raising or having children…
- Changes in lifelong priorities…
- A debilitating lack of commitment…
- The desire to graze greener pastures…
- Even simple boredom …
Are all issues that can lead a man like yourself to consider divorce.
While this article isn’t really about how to save your marriage, or how to avoid divorce, I did want to take a moment to make sure that you really want this…
Are you absolutely positive that you want to divorce your wife?
Let me ask you this question, and I want you to answer honestly…
“What would it take to make you want to stay with your wife?”
- Would she have to change?
- Would you have to change?
- Would time travel be required somewhere in there?
What would make your wife perfect to you?
What if you could have that perfect ‘dream’ wife?
I know you’ve probably given up on a ‘dream wife’ a long time ago, but before you continue reading this article I’d like to go ahead and recommend you one last ditch effort that I’ve seen turn men’s marriage around.
This is my best course about turning your marriage around by first turning yourself around:
This course will help you become the type of man you like seeing in the mirror.
Even if you still ask for a divorce, you’ll be more at peace with your decision and confident in your future.
If there was a last ditch effort worth trying, this is it.
Alright, if you’re still here reading and still sure that you want to divorce your wife, then I trust you and that you’re really sure of yourself, and that you know you want to start beginning divorce.
So I won’t delay you any further…Let’s start talking about how to tell your wife you want a divorce. Without further adieu…
How to Tell Your Wife You Want Divorce – 7 Things to Consider
The following tips will help teach you how to divorce your wife and prepare you for the task of telling your wife you want a divorce.
These tips will make you think about things you should know before the confronting this emotional task, as well as take you through the steps necessary to shore up your emotional and mental defenses.
Divorce is not a decision to be rushed, take your time and make sure you really want to take this road. There’s no going back from here.
#1. Why Do You Want to Leave Your Marriage?
Reflect on what’s wrong with your marriage, your life, and your relationship with your wife. Understand fully why you want to leave your wife and end the marriage.
Have you done everything possible to repair the marriage? What efforts have you made? Did you really put your heart into trying to revive your marriage, or were you just taking time so you could say you did?
Are your reasons for leaving the marriage selfish, or do you feel that they’re altruistic?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not condemning the decision to divorce…I don’t want to sound harsh and I know these questions might be difficult to hear.
At the same time, I don’t want to waste your time.
These are the questions you need to answer, no beating around the bush. I’m asking them, and your wife will too. I’m not condoning or condemning either response.
Having an answer to these questions is of critical importance.
#2. Don’t Blame Your Wife For a Sour Marriage
One critical lesson regarding how to tell your wife you want divorce that I’m going to try to hammer into your head throughout this article is that your divorce should NOT be about pushing your wife’s hot buttons, getting even, or making her ‘pay’.
Marriages go bad. It’s both of your faults, equally, even in emotionally abusive relationships.
Every day is a choice, and you chose where you are now. Take responsibility for the end of the marriage, admit that you were wrong (you were, sometime), and admit that you regret things couldn’t work out better.
Sometimes things just have to end.
#3. Important! Communicate Effectively; Be Clear What You Want
I couldn’t write an effective guide about how to divorce your wife without making this point excessively clear. The worst case scenario would be to walk into this and think your wife understood that you’re going to serve her divorce papers, and she actually thinks you guys turned things around.
You don’t have to be mean, but remember that you only have one message you have to get across, and that’s that you want divorce.
Anything else is optional…Just get it out in a civil dialogue, and then get out if it feels like things are going South. There’s no shame in leaving if you fear she might change your mind somehow.
#4. Anticipate Each Emotional Response (From Both of You)
Go through the range of emotions that you could possibly imagine your wife exhibiting when you tell her you want divorce. Walk through the different feelings…
- Anger, what is her reaction? What is your reaction?
- Fear, what is her reaction? What is your reaction?
- Guilt, what is her reaction? What is your reaction?
- Anxiety, what is her reaction? What is your reaction?
- What other emotions could she or you succumb to?
By thinking and planning your own responses ahead of time you’ll be more likely to come out of the confrontation the way that you want to…Strong and ready to move forward. Plus, reflecting on these different emotions will probably give you some other additional insights about how to divorce your wife, since you’ll need to do some deep thinking about her.
#5. Speak From a Firm Foundation
Whatever happens, keep your cool. The second worst case scenario – and I don’t mean consequence-wise, I mean dignity-wise – Is to lose your temper and flip out on your wife while you’re telling her you want a divorce.
Trust me, the divorce news will be enough to devastate her; you owe it to her to keep your anger under reign.
Plus, when you’re angry, you get emotional. And when you get emotional, you get weak. That means you’re more likely to settle for the marriage, even if ahead of time you’ve made the firm decision not to. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated to changing your mind.
#6. You Only Have 1 Point: You’re Ending the Marriage
I hit on this before, but seriously, keep this at the front of your mind. “1 point, end the marriage…1 point, end the marriage…1 point, end the marriage…” should be the thought running through your head as you tell your wife the bad news.
Yes, it will probably hurt her, shock her, and/or devastate her. Yes she will have stuff to deal with. Yes it will take her months/years to recover, just like it will you.
But think about what your marriage is like now…If it never got better could you accept staying in the marriage indefinitely?
If not, divorce might be the best solution for both of you. You’ll ultimately give your family more time to recover; don’t think you’re doing your child any favors by staying together in an unhappy marriage.
#7. Important! Eh…You Might Talk to a Divorce Lawyer
I must recommend that you talk to one before telling your wife you want a divorce. You need to make sure to plan your finances for after the separation, and know your rights going into the legal battle, especially if there are kids involved.
Don’t try and figure out how to divorce your wife yourself, let the divorce attorney make your life easier.
Of course, ideally you’ll be able to accept each other’s perspective and agree to settle cordially with your wife, but you may as well prepare for the worst, just in case.
You Know How to Divorce Your Wife
I hope these tips have been helpful to you. I wish you the best of luck with your woman, whether you pursue divorce or the best marriage of your life.
Anyways, I really appreciate you taking the time to read this article. Feel free to share it with your friends or any other husbands you know of in your situation.
I also suggest you take some time to browse around our site…We have a fair share of information available for free that might interest you.
Either way, thanks for reading this article about how to tell your wife you want divorce!
Much manly love,
With much manly love,
I'm Stephen, the guy behind Husband Help Haven. I'm not a marriage counselor or a lawyer, I'm just a guy on the Internet who has talked to a loooooot of men going through separation... Over 2,000 in the past 5 years. My goal is to give men the tools they need to save their marriage from separation. Read more here