The “Just Friends” Quiz

If you have ever caught yourself saying “we’re just friends,” this is for you. It is written for the person who is actually in the friendship. If you are the worried spouse, you are welcome to take it on their behalf, answering as best you understand their situation.

Answer honestly, and it will simply reflect back what is there. It’s meant to be a mirror, not a verdict.

Prefer paper? There is a clean, printable version you can fill out by hand: download the printable quiz.

Question 1 Have you ever told yourself, or someone else, "we’re just friends"?

Yes No

Question 2 Have you had conversations with them you wouldn’t want to have in front of your spouse?

Yes No

Question 3 Does this friend give you more attention than your spouse does?

Yes No

Question 4 Have you confided in this friend about your marriage or your marriage problems?

Yes No

Question 5 Is there a romantic or sexual spark between you and this friend?

Yes No

Question 6 Do you believe that only physical affairs really count as cheating?

Yes No

Question 7 Have you mostly given up trying to talk to your spouse or work on your marriage?

Yes No

Question 8 Do you look forward to time with this friend more than time with your spouse?

Yes No

Question 9 Do you find yourself wanting to look good for this friend, or caring what they think of you?

Yes No

Question 10 Have you ever compared this friend to your spouse?

Yes No

Question 11 Have you ever lied to your spouse about this friend? (Leaving things out counts.)

Yes No

Question 12 Do you feel like you’re drifting apart from your spouse?

Yes No

Question 13 Have you ever wished your spouse treated you more like this friend does?

Yes No

Question 14 Have you ever deleted texts, emails, or messages from this friend so your spouse wouldn’t see?

Yes No

Question 15 Would you be reluctant to give up this friendship, even if your spouse asked you to?

Yes No

The “Just Friends” Quiz

Whatever your result, here’s the honest next step