Wife Took Off Her Wedding Ring

My Wife Took Off Her Wedding Ring – Should I Keep Mine On?

My wife and I are separated and she has taken off her wedding ring.  I still wear mine because I am committed to fighting for our marriage.

Should I take my ring off to try and relieve pressure on her?  Or is it better to keep it on to show her I want the marriage to work?  What do you think is the right move?

Short answer?  Yes, I think you should still wear your wedding ring, even after your wife takes hers off.

In fact, I think you should continue to wear it until the day that you are no longer a married man.

Honestly, I don't think this question has anything to do with your wife. It's more about you as a man and what you value than about your wife and what she will think. It's not just that you're committed to the marriage, it's that the ring itself signifies being married.

When you take off your wedding ring, you're telling the world that you're unmarried. That's why your wife took hers off. But, regardless of what she chose to do, the fact is that you ARE married.


Your wedding ring symbolizes the type of love that does not end no matter what, even when the very person you love is pushing you away.


Why would you tell the world that you're single when you're not single? It's a lie.

You have probably heard that a wedding ring represents unending love and commitment. It is a circle; it never ends. Your ring symbolizes the type of love that does not end no matter what, even when the very person you love wants you to stop. That's the depth and the seriousness of this type of love.

In my opinion, as long as you remain married, you are bound by vows to demonstrate this unconditional love towards your spouse; it is your husbandly obligation to hold to this commitment. This commitment only ends the day that you are no longer married, and even then many of you will continue holding on.

The Argument for Taking Your Ring Off

With all of that being said, I will admit that there is a case to be made for taking your wedding ring off.

There may be a scenario where taking your ring off COULD increase your chances of getting your wife back, or of allowing her to see you differently.

But, to be clear...

  • I can't think of a single time where I saw a man lose his marriage because he kept his wedding ring on after his wife took hers off.
  • I CAN think of many times where a husband kept his ring on through thick and thin and ended up getting his wife back. 

Possible Reasons to Take Your Ring Off:

  1. Maybe taking your ring off will show your wife that you no longer want to be with her, and maybe she will find that attractive... Sort of like playing hard to get.
  2. Maybe your wife is angered by the fact that you continue to wear your wedding ring. In this case, you'll have to decide whether you value making your wife's life potentially better (by getting rid of her peeve) or standing to your values as a man.
  3. Maybe when your wife sees you without your ring on, it will flip a switch inside her and make her realize what she's lost.

Again, I would comfortably call each of these scenarios hypothetical outliers. There are not many separations where this is true. 

Even in these unique hypothetical circumstances where taking the ring off might get you a more favorable reaction from your wife, you still have to balance what you think is right. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer there, although I know which one I'd pick. 

Final Answer?
It's Up To You

You have to make this choice for yourself:

  • Is it more important to stand by the visual representation of your commitment to the marriage?
  • Or, is it more important to show your wife you're willing to accept that the marriage might end?

Personally, if it were me, I would ask myself this simple question:

Are you still married?

If the answer is yes, keep your wedding ring on no matter what.

If the answer is no, take your wedding ring off.

Hope this helps any of you who are facing this really tough choice inside your marriage. Trust your gut and don't look back.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 6 comments
Ismael Martinez - 8 months ago

Hello. My name is Ismael. I wanted to thank you wholeheartedly for your posts. They have helped me through the most heart wrenching situation in my life. I’m currently sitting in a DFW airport waiting on a flight to San Diego. My wife is joining me. Two months ago I would have thought this was just a dream. She had filed for divorce on December 23rd. We have since then filed a nonsuit petition to dissolve the divorce proceedings. A huge part of my mental reprogramming had to do with your website.

Thank you very much!

We’re off to spend a few days in SD and run a half marathon together. We’re doing this life together now and feel that our best years are ahead of us (married for 8 years)

Much Manly Live-

Ismael

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Ochedi - a few months ago

My wife of seven years left my house when I left for work when I returned from work and met my house scattered I had the mind of ending it but I just took my set and search and straight to ur site and behold I became bold today she is begging to come back but u I have made up my mind
Thank u, u are magic and am happy to discover your site and I can’t thank you enough for saving me now am strong because I expect the worse with a woman am forcing to luv me

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John - last month

Thank you Jacob for the website. I am separated from my wife for 4 weeks now after being together for 26 years. Big part of the problem to me is that she started drinking 10 years ago and hasn’t stopped ever since. It has actually gotten worse right up to our separation. Even though we talked and are going to not date or do anything we shouldn’t but honor our vows, I did take my ring off. It was not easy and I don’t project any kind of availability out there. I took it off after much prayer and was told by my God that it was part of the holding on to her that I was doing. I was supposed to completely and utterly let her go so that I could heal. You see part of her drinking went to partying and then dirty dancing drunk in bars and clubs where she would flirt with guys and get them to buy her drinks. She would get so blasted that while dirty dancing on the floor, she would be unaware of the guys that would come up and dance with(on) her and touch and grope her. She wouldn’t remember it. I called her out on this and she still demands that she did nothing wrong. It broke my heart when I found out this is what she was doing when she went out with her girls. to say the least, I have been suffering from a broken heart for over 5 years now and she still has no idea why I don’t trust her. It’s hard to know if I want her back or not. So much pain and her absolute unwillingness to see her transgressions has put me in a bad state of mind. I am going to read all you have so that I can recover my man. I have started last year doing a lot of what you have suggested here before I found your site. It makes me feel good knowing I was on the right track. She didn’t like that I was taking my life back and not tolerating her behavior any more. Thank you for the excellent resource. I will study it well for my sake.

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    Stephen - last month

    It sounds like you have found a deep clarity into what you want and, indeed, need to be doing during this time. Trust your gut and devote yourself to prayer. Figure out the man you’ve been called to be. Perhaps your wife will learn to love that man. If she does, I am sure it will be as a woman that you too can learn to love again. But, perhaps not. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and find clarity in between.

    Reply
Javas Ndovu - a couple of weeks ago

Hi

We are married lesbians couple, my wife moved out and took the rings off, that I have hurt her enough by my words not appreciating her, I know I have said the words I did not mean because of anger and felt disrespected by the way she talks to me but the truth is that I still love her and willing to do anything to win her back. the problem is that she’s fed up and want us to be friends only but promise to attend events of my family.

please help is there any chances?

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    Stephen - a couple of weeks ago

    Yes, there is a chance, but you must focus on what you can control. Make sure you’ve watched the 3+1 Separation Strategy, that’s the best starting point I have for you.

    Reply

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