What’s Coming From the Haven in 2017?
Last week you got a long overdue update on what’s been going on behind the scenes in my life over the past several months.
Today, we’re going to look forward at what you can expect from Husband Help Haven throughout the rest of 2017.
Not much of an introduction needed here – let’s jump straight in. My goals for 2017 are pretty simple.
1. Update Manly Separation Survival
I originally released the early bird version of Manly Separation Survival in June of 2016.
The very first major project I will be undertaking in 2017 is to release the updated, “final” version of Manly Separation Survival, complete with MP3 audios and a couple more case studies for all the early birds.
My goal with MSS was to offer a realistic, thorough survival guide to separation.
- The first half of the book is all about mindsets and strategies to help you both cope with the crisis of separation and get through to your wife.
- The second half of the book walks you through a typical separation in 4 stages, plus a detailed walkthrough of both the reconciliation process and the divorce process.
Feedback from early bird readers has been largely positive. It seems the book does meet its original goal – it helps men set realistic expectations for their separation, cope with crisis, and get a better understanding of what their unique separation will look like.
The main criticism of MSS has been that while the information is helpful and accurate, the book lacks the hopeful tone of Manly Marriage Revival. I agree, so while the core content of the book will remain the same in the update, I’m going to make sure the book is an overall more encouraging read in its final form.
While it’s true that my goal in MSS is to be realistic, I don’t want it to be so realistic it’s depressing. After all, most of you have more than enough things in your life trying to take away your hope; I don’t want to be one more negative voice, even in an honest survival guide-style resource.
2. Publish More High-Quality
FREE Starter Resources
Last week you got a first look at the 3+1 Separation Strategy.
I told you that my goal was to create THE best free resource for men facing separation – period.
Separation is definitely the most common crisis men face when they come to the Haven. However, for many men, separation is paired with other, sometimes bigger problems.
Throughout 2017, I want to create starter resources for ALL of the most common scenarios that men face when they come to the Haven, including:
- Wife having/had an emotional affair
- Wife having/had a physical affair
- Wife going through an identity crisis (aka. midlife crisis)
- Couples working together to rebuild the marriage
- Husbandly leadership 101
I want each of these resources to be on-par with the 3+1 Separation Strategy… Thorough, actionable, accurate.
There are already some really good resources on Husband Help Haven for many of these categories that simply need to be updated and revised, such as Emotional Affairs 101 or my two-part Midlife Crisis series.
Other categories will need all-new content… For example, I don’t have anything on the site right now specifically for couples working together to reconcile.
In business lingo, the goal here is to improve new user experience. I want new men who find the Haven to have a clearer and better-rounded starting point; a clear and intuitive path through the vast library of information on the site.
3. Publish a New Book About Quitting Porn
Porn is a problem that I have a lot of personal experience with.
Having this experience is not a good thing, and I wish I didn’t have it, but since I do I’m going to do something with it. Plus, porn is a very common problem that leads to a TON of divorces… Some stats claim that porn contributes to as many as 54% percent of all divorces.
Personally, I am now two years completely porn-free with no relapses whatsoever. While I do still have temptation from time to time (and I probably always will), it’s not the same kind of overwhelming withdrawal-type temptation that I worked for YEARS to conquer.
I strongly believe I could have beaten my addiction much faster if I had an honest, realistic roadmap through the process of quitting porn, and that’s what I will seek to create with this book.
There are several young men in my own life who are currently struggling to quit porn, so I’m hoping to get this book finished as soon as possible in the first half of 2017. This will be a smaller project than Manly Marriage Revival or Manly Separation Survival, so keep an eye out for this (hopefully) around May or June of this year.
4. Create a Community for Haven Readers
This is the final major goal for 2017, and perhaps the biggest game-changer for the site.
Throughout the last half of 2016, one of the things I learned is that no matter how much I want to, I simply cannot offer personal, one-on-one help to every single reader who reaches out to me.
I maintained a 90%+ email response rate for a long time, throughout most of 2015 and the first half of 2016. Today, I get anywhere from 30 to 60 emails per week, and it’s more than I can keep up with on my own.
However! I have seen two trends as Husband Help Haven has continued to grow:
- Many Haveners have become teachers to other men in their life. I’ve had several men share stories of how they’ve helped other guys they know save their marriage.
- Many readers have told me that the most helpful stuff they get Inside the Haven are the real-life stories and advice from other men who’ve gone through separation.
When you look at these two facts side-by-side, the answer seems pretty obvious. I need to find a way to get the men from #1 to talk with the men from #2.
It’s time for Husband Help Haven to become not just a resource, but a real community!
There are two ways to create this community:
- Private Facebook group, or...
- Private online forum
In addition, I plan to re-start publishing answers to reader questions, either in Podcast form or as a weekly column (i.e. the Ask Jacob column).
I strongly believe that giving men access to the stories, questions and advice of other men who are facing similar crises is one of the best ways to support the mission of this site, so that is my last major goal of 2017.
I don’t have an exact ETA for when this last goal will happen; it will likely be in the second half of 2017. I’ve never setup the infrastructure for a community like this before, so there will be a lot of new things to learn and put into practice. But, I know it will be worth it.
5. More Personal Transparency
This isn’t a huge goal, but it is worth mentioning. The response to last week’s Long Overdue Update was very positive. It seems that you guys like knowing what’s going on in my life and what stuff I’m facing in my own family and marriage.
Next week, I will have a pretty big announcement along the lines of personal transparency, so stay tuned for that.
Ready to get back to the Haven’s normally scheduled programming?
New marriage-related blog posts will be starting on a regular basis by mid-March.
That’s all I got for you today – have a great week!