Does it seem like you just can’t get on the same wavelength emotionally?
Or maybe you feel that no matter what you do, your wife still isn’t satisfied with your marriage?
If so, then this article was written for you. And don’t worry, you’re not alone.
As you continue reading we’re going to bust one of the most common myths that you will hear regarding how to get your wife back.
Can you guess what it is?
The title pretty much says it all…
Open Communication is Not a Magic Marriage Solution
The first thing most husbands hear when they try to talk to a friend or counselor about their problems is that they need to “improve communication”.
Sound familiar to you?
Have you heard that better communication will fix the problems in your marriage?
If so, you have been lied to.
This extremely common piece of advice sounds like it should work, but in practice it doesn’t do a whole lot other than ratchet up the aggravation or depression that you feel every time you fail to engage your wife.
Really think about it…I don’t know about you, but I’ve heard of seldom few marriages that have been repaired thanks to “better communication”.
Plus, open communication isn’t that hard… I mean come on, you just say what’s on your mind.
If open communication was all it took to fix a marriage, do you honestly believe that we would have a ~50% divorce rate in America today?
Do you think that 50% of husbands are too dumb to say exactly what’s on their mind to their wives?
I think not.
Heck, if anything we men need to be a little more careful about what we say and how we say it.
How many times have you said exactly what you thought and then realized how insensitive it sounded? How many times has your gut-instinct led you astray? On top of that, for every time you do realize you’ve vocally misstepped, there are probably three more times that you don’t.
And common marital advice says you need MORE of that?!
Why Doesn’t Open Communication Work to Save Marriage Relationships?
Better communication certainly sounds like solid, logical marriage advice… It sounds like it should work.
After all, every single one of the healthy marriages that I know of also has very healthy communication between the two spouses.
Therefore, shouldn’t practicing better communication also make your marriage better?
In a perfect world, yes.
However, let me explain why this doesn’t work by giving you an analogy.
Please read the following analogy very carefully:
Maintaining Your Marriage is Like Maintaining Your Car…
If you take really good care of your car – regular oil changes, tire rotations, inspections, the whole shebang – then you will rarely be surprised by an out-of-nowhere problem like engine failure or a ground-out transmission. You’ll almost always be able to anticipate problems with your car, and you’ll know how to handle them. The most expensive maintenance you will ever have to pay for is an oil change, otherwise your well-taken-care-of car will generally stay in good condition. Rarely will any problems arise because you’ve been a good owner and kept the car regularly maintained.
Okay? Following me so far?
Take good care of your car and it will run more smoothly for a lot longer.
We all agree, yes?
But, let’s look at the other side…
If you take bad care of your car – only ever taking care of it when it stops working or starts making funny noises – then you will find that your car troubles become more frequent and more expensive. If you run your car into the ground, then it’s going to take a lot more than an oil change to get it working. You may need a completely new engine, transmission, or something else expensive that you could have totally avoided had you kept up with regular maintenance.
Do you see the analogy?
Open Communication = Regular Maintenance
If you “maintain” a good marriage, then you will rarely have problems, and the ones you do have will be resolved quickly and easily.
If you fail to keep up with that regular marital maintenance, then it will take a lot more than simple communication to get things running again.
In other words…
Open Communication Works Wonders for Happy Marriages, Not Yours
Does that make sense?
If your marriage is on the rocks right now, then open communication is not going to be enough to fix your marriage.
No matter how clearly you’re able to communicate with your wife, you will be unable to change the way she feels about you or the way she feels about staying in the relationship.
So the question is:
If not open communication, what should you aim for instead?
Your goal is simple – You need to change the way your wife FEELS about you…
You need to make her feel attracted to you, to want you, to crave being with you. This is the primary goal of the Marriage Savior System
Let’s just say that this is going to require a more dramatic change than open communication. You’re going to have to become the good husband that you used to be, that you were always meant to be. That good husband is in there somewhere, we just have to find him and bring him out.
I know you still have some questions about the secret to getting your wife back, so this is what I’m going to recommend you do…Either check out Marriage Savior, pick up my free report (scroll up, it’s in the sidebar), or check out the other articles for you to read on Husband Help Haven.
Whatever you do, thanks for reading!
With Much Manly Love,