Is it starting to feel like it’s impossible to get on the same wavelength, emotionally speaking?
Or maybe you feel like no matter what you do, your wife still isn’t satisfied with your marriage.
If any of the above ring true, then this article was written for you. And don’t worry, you’re not alone.
As you continue reading, we’re going to bust one of the most common myths you’ll hear about how to get your wife back.
Can you guess what it is?
The title says it all…
Open Communication is Not a Magic Marriage Solution
The first thing most husbands hear when they talk to a friend or counselor about their marriage is that you need to “improve your communication”.
Sound familiar? Have you heard that better communication will fix the problems in your marriage?
If so, you’ve been lied to.
This extremely common piece of advice sounds like it should work in theory… But in practice it doesn’t do much other than increase the aggravation and depression that you feel every time you fail to engage with your wife.
Really think about it. I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen very few marriages that were saved thanks to “better communication”. And it’s not like open communication is that hard. I mean, come on, you just say what’s on your mind.
If open communication was all it took to fix a marriage, do you honestly believe we would have a ~50% divorce rate in America today?
Do you think that 50% of husbands are too dumb to say exactly what’s on their mind to their wives?
I think not. Heck, if anything, we men need to be more careful about what we say to our wives and how we say it.
How many times have you spoken your mind to your wife and then realized how insensitive it sounded?
How many times has your gut-instinct led you astray? If you’ve read 9 Essential Traits of a Good Husband, then you know it’s quite a few.
On top of that, for every time you do realize that you’ve vocally misstepped, there are probably several more times that you’re ignorant of your mistake.
And common marriage advice for men says you need MORE of that?!
Why Doesn’t Open Communication Work to Save Marriage Relationships?
Better communication certainly sounds like logical marriage advice… It seems like it should work, right?
After all, every one of the healthy marriages that I know also has very healthy communication between the two spouses. Therefore, shouldn’t practicing better communication make your marriage better?
In a perfect world, yes.
But, let me explain why this doesn’t work by giving you an analogy…
Please read the following analogy very carefully:
Maintaining Your Marriage is Like Maintaining Your Car…
If you take really good care of your car – regular oil changes, tire rotations, inspections, the whole shebang – then you’ll rarely be surprised by an out-of-nowhere problem like engine failure or a fried transmission. You’ll be able to anticipate 99% of your problems, and you’ll know how to handle them when they come up. The most expensive maintenance you’ll ever pay for is an oil change, and your well-taken-care-of car will generally stay in good condition. Problems will be rare because you’ve been a good owner and kept the car well-maintained.
Okay? Following me so far?
Take good care of your car and it’ll run more smoothly for a lot longer.
We all agree, yes?
But, let’s look at the other side…
If you take bad care of your car – only ever giving it attention when it stops working or starts making funny noises – then you’ll find that your car troubles become more frequent and more expensive. When you carelessly run your car into the ground, it’s going to take a lot more than an oil change to get it working again. You may need a completely new engine, or a new transmission, or something else expensive that could have been totally avoided with regular maintenance.
Do you see the analogy?
Open Communication = Regular Maintenance
If you “maintain” a good marriage, then you’ll rarely have problems, and the ones you do have will be resolved quickly and easily.
If you fail to keep up with that regular marital maintenance, then it’ll take a lot more than simple communication to get things running again.
In other words…
Open Communication Works Wonders for Happy Marriages; Not Yours
Does that make sense?
If your marriage is on the rocks right now, then open communication won’t be enough to fix your marriage.
No matter how clearly you communicate with your wife, you’ll be unable to change the way she feels about you or the way she feels about staying in the relationship.
So, the question is:
If open communication won’t work, what will get your wife back?
Your goal is simple – You need to change the way your wife FEELS about you!
You need to make her feel attracted to you, to want you, to crave being with you. This the most important thing I learned from the Marriage Savior System.
Reigniting attraction requires a more dramatic change than mere open communication. You have to become the good husband that you used to be, that you were always meant to be. That man is in there somewhere; we just have to find him and bring him out.
I know you still have some questions about the secret to getting your wife back, so this is what I’m going to recommend you do… Pick up my free report at the bottom of this post, or check out the other articles available here on Husband Help Haven.
Whatever you do, thanks for reading!
With much manly love,