How to Get Your Wife Back By Doing the Opposite

How to Get Your Wife BackDid you know that divorce rates today are the highest ever in America?

You’re not the only abandoned husband who wants to learn how to get your wife back…Far from it.

In fact, the percentage of marriages ending in divorce has been steadily increasing for the past 30 years…Only in the last few years are we finally starting to see a plateau.

Do you know what the current % of divorced couples is?

Just take a guess…I dare ya.

Current Estimates State that Between 40% – 55% of Marriages Will End in Divorce.

Really think about that for a little bit.

Let that sink in.

Is it hard to believe that over half the marriages in America end in divorce?

Even if you account for folks who’ve had multiple failed marriages (second, third and fourth marriages are significantly more likely to end in divorce), clearly we as a society are doing something wrong when it comes to marriage.

Divorce rates should NEVER be that high!

I Know Divorce Rates Are High.
That Doesn’t Tell Me How to Get My Wife Back?

With more and more broken marriages ending in divorce, obviously there are also more marriage counselors and divorce attorneys… It seems that some people are doing very, very well for themselves thanks to this tragic trend in marital health.


Maybe not. Especially once you consider that despite this enormous spike in marriage counselors, when it comes down to brass tacks very few people actually know Jack Diddley about saving a marriage relationship, or rebuilding lost love between two people.

In fact, I would say that most men reading this are wasting their time pursuing commonly prescribed marriage solutions that are not only pointless, but actively counter productive.

Check out these chilling statistics:

Fun Fact #1. Researchers say that within two years of completing marriage counseling 25% of couples are worse off than they were when they started, and after four years 38% are divorced. (source)

Fun Fact #2. Recent studies have also shown that only 12% of private practice marriage therapists have elected to take a single college-level course in marriage counseling or relationship psychology.

Fun Fact #3. Marriage counselors and psychiatrists have the highest divorce rates of any medical profession. Period.

And you want to trust these people with your marriage?

Unless you’re a gambling man, I’m willing to bet you’re not willing to risk your marriage on whether or not you get one of the good marriage counselors.

The only time I ever recommend marriage counseling is when it’s the wife’s idea. This is the only way that you can be sure that your wife will get anything out of seeing a counselor or therapist.

I’ve only seen marriage counseling work when both husband and wife are genuinely enthusiastic about rebuilding lost love.

I’m willing to bet that doesn’t exactly describe your situation right now.

Get Your Wife Back By Doing the Opposite of Everyone Around You

It sounds almost too sad to be true, but in our society it’s come to the point where a safe rule of thumb to stop a divorce is to do the exact opposite of what everyone else is doing.

Everyone Says…
Communication is the Key to Re-Igniting Your Marriage

As I believe I have already hinted at, this extremely common recommendation is based off what would almost seem like solid logic.

This recommendation exists because of the assumption that a good, healthy marriage also has good, healthy communication. This is a reasonable assumption, certainly, since most of the healthy and thriving marriages that I know of DO have very open communication between spouses.

Sounds great, right?

Here’s the problem, and please read this carefully:

Communication works differently when your wife has hardened her heart, and most people don’t realize that.

Just because open communication works well for a couple with a rock-solid foundation of love, trust and happiness does NOT mean it will work well for you to repair a broken relationship with a shattered foundation of apathy, desperation and hopelessness.

I mean think about it, it’s sort of like saying you should talk to a stranger the same way you would talk to your best friend, or that you should talk to your boss the same way you talk to your office buddies…You don’t tell dirty or racist or sexist or gross jokes to your boss or new acquaintances, even if you do to your closer coworkers and friends. Your boss would, at best, look at you with disgust for the remainder of the day, and they might just fire you.


Because it’s apples and oranges.

Each of those relationships – stranger to close friend and healthy marriage to unhealthy marriage – require a different type of communication.

Maybe that wasn’t the best example in the world, but I hope you understand what I’m saying.

Good communication alone isn’t going to solve your marriage. Not at this point. You can’t just talk to your wife and change her mind about something so based in emotion.

You have to UNLOCK HER HEART, and communication is NOT the key.

Everyone Says…
Lavishing Her is the Key to Saving Your Marriage

This one is probably more commonly heard from your buddies then from your marriage counselor.

Many men are really and truly convinced that if they shower their wife with love and affection (read as: gifts) that she will change her mind and decide to stay with you.

However, for similar reasons that we’ve already listed – This will not work!

Even if lavishing your wife somehow did make a difference in your relationship, is that really how you want to fix your marriage?

Do you really want to stay married to a woman who only loves you because you shower her with attention and give her everything she wants materially, not because she actually wants to be with you?

In the end all you get is a relationship based on dishonesty.

I’m NOT telling you never to do nice things for your wife, I’m just saying that now isn’t the time or place to make this your primary goal. Your marriage will require a deeper change than that if you ever want to get your wife back before she leaves, or after separation or divorce.

Everyone Says…
Showing You Care is the Key to Getting Her Back

If your wife feels loved, it’s only natural that she’ll love you back, right?

This is another favorite of your average marriage counselor because it’s easy, sounds good, and seems logical.

But as we’ve already learned, logic does not fix marriages, and this is one more example that sounds good but won’t actually work in practice.

Here are some other typical marriage solutions that don’t solve anything…

  • Telling Her You Love Her won’t fix your marriage
  • Regular Date Nights won’t get her back
  • Making Intimacy Time for each other will not make a difference
  • Leaving Her Cute Little Notes won’t fix your marriage
  • Acts of Service won’t save your marriage

I’m sure you’ve heard all these tips at some point or another, but I want you to realize that these WILL NOT SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE!

Why won’t any of these things work?

Why will these typical marriage solutions actively push your wife further away from you?

Because right now your wife thinks you are WEAK.

Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

To her, right now you are smothering and boring. A one trick pony.

Until she FEELS differently about you (notice the keyword, ‘FEELS’) she’s not going to be receptive to any romantic gestures… Instead she will feel pressured, pushed and manipulated.

99% of women can see right through what you’re trying to do when you use these typical marriage solutions. If she knows your end goal, her mind will throw up that defensive emotional wall that keeps her from wanting you back.

Many other abandoned husbands have fallen for these same traps spread by the marriage counseling industry…Don’t be the next victim.

Again, as I’ve stressed countless times before on Husband Help Haven, the key to saving your marriage and stopping a divorce dead in it’s tracks is…

How to Get Your Wife Back?
The Key is Attraction!

You must, must, MUST build attraction with your wife, and once you do that I can virtually guarantee that everything else will fall into place naturally. When your now-hard-hearted wife FEELS that she wants you back, she will STOP second guessing your marriage and START second guessing her desire to leave.

What’s the best way to start rebuilding attraction?


10 Steps to Gain Husbandly Leadership

If you’ve been waiting for how to get your wife back, this is it. Of course, you’re more than welcome to browse around on for some more free information, but I strongly encourage you give that page a read.

Either way you choose, I wish you the best of luck getting your wife back!

With much manly love,
– Jacob


Hi! My name is Jacob. I'm a freelance writer by day, blogger and marriage thought-sharer at Husband Help Haven by night. Even though I'm not a marriage counselor, I want to encourage men everywhere to become better husbands, fathers and leaders. Click here to read more about me.