What are some common signs my wife wants a divorce?”
Unfortunately, more and more husbands are facing divorce… Depending on who you look to for statistics, divorce rates in America are somewhere between 30% and 50%, and they’ve been rising constantly for the past 30 years.
Today, there are more men than ever wondering whether their wives are planning on leaving, or if their marriage is standing on its last leg.
Without further ado, here are 10 of the most common signs your wife wants a divorce. I don’t want to waste any of your time here, so let’s go ahead and get right into it.
10 Common Signs Your Wife Wants a Divorce
My goal in this article is to give you a heads up for your wife’s intentions, and to provide insight as to what could be making her want a divorce in the first place.
Honestly, there are probably hundreds of signs your wife might be considering divorce, but I’ve narrowed it down to the 10 most common ones so that you can see how to tell if your wife wants a divorce.
She’s Spending More Time Away from Home
One of the most obvious signs that your wife wants a divorce is her spending substantially more time outside of the house.
Whether she says she wants to clear her head, get some alone time, or just be away from you, she’ll start finding excuses to get out of the house. Here are some of the ones I’ve heard from men inside HHH:
She’ been working a lot. Extra overtime? Extra shifts? Big projects with impending deadlines (that never seem to finish)?
She’ been going out with her girlfriends several times a week. An especially big sign if this is new behavior for her.
She takes FOREVER running basic errands. Does a “quick stop” at the store turn into 2 – 3 hours?
Do any of these ring a bell?
Many women sick of being married will deliberately do everything they can just to be out of the house.
If not one of the above, are you seeing any similar signs your wife wants out of the marriage?
Big Changes in Your Sex Life
Women are deeply emotional beings; there is a very strong connection between her libido and her emotional state.
If you’ve noticed changes in your sex life, either more sex or less, that could be a sign your wife wants divorce.
Especially if you’ve noticed a steep decline in your sex life, your wife is probably feeling an equally steep decline in her feelings for you and the marriage.
Most of the time more sex isn’t a bad sign, but if she’s involved in an affair, that can sometimes lead to an increased sex drive back home (but not always).
She’s Never Interested in Intimacy
Intimacy and sex are not the same thing. Look to Wikipedia for a clear definition of what makes intimacy so special:
“Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity.” -source
In other words, intimacy is a measure of that deep emotional connection that a husband is supposed to have with his wife in a healthy married relationship.
Do you look at your wife and feel completely happy with who she is?
- Do you feel like your wife is proud of you?
- Is your wife satisfied with your love and your love alone?
- Does your wife ever share herself with you? Do you share yourself with her?
Think about each of these questions… Would you describe your marriage as intimate? Does your marriage contain dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity?
Or, do you think that your intimacy with your wife has started to break away?
She’s Become Very Critical of You
- Does it seem like your wife always has something bad to say about you?
- Does it seem like no matter what you do, it’s not enough to keep your wife from saying mean and hurtful things?
- Is it clear that she views you as inferior to herself? Or that her time and happiness is more important than yours?
If your wife has divorce in her mind, she’ll begin justifying it to herself by constantly degrading you. Generally, the more she’s thought about divorce, the more and more bitter she’ll become.
One way this is often carried out is that she’ll brush anything good you do for her under the rug, and instead focus on some way you’ve made her life worse.
Here’s why your wife is being so hateful:
Her frustration with the marriage has built up to a boiling point. She knows that it will be easier to distance herself and confront you about the divorce if she’s mean to you first.
In other words, attacking you is her way of taking control.
She’s Always Cold & Distant
Is it a huge struggle to engage your wife in conversation?
Does it seem like she’s become nothing more than an empty shell?
Has her trademark phrase become “I don’t care”?
If your wife seems emotionally empty and refuses to make any effort towards you or your marriage, that’s a good sign she wants divorce. Or if she doesn’t want it yet, she will soon.
Unsurprisingly, it’s tough to save your marriage when the only thing you have to talk to is a brick wall.
She’s Always on Her Computer or iPad
The Digital Revolution has made infidelity easier than ever.
FaceBook, Twitter, and even Craigslist have all helped make having an affair simple and discrete.
If your wife has been spending a ton of time on the computer lately, it could be because of a number of reasons:
Reason #1: She’s Started Online Dating
Have you heard of Ashley Madison?
It’s a website specifically designed to help married men and women find casual partners to hook up with. There are, unfortunately, several other sites like it that make it very, VERY easy for people to organize an affair.
Unfortunately, these types of affairs are difficult to catch too. If you’d like to learn more about this one, here are some common signs of a cheating wife.
Reason #2: She’s Learning About Divorce
You can learn anything on the Internet, so your wife could be taking advantage of the many online resources available to help her prepare for divorce. She could be researching attorneys, or figuring out how much she can get from a divorce.
Here’s a rule of thumb:
The spouse who’s better prepared almost always walks away from the divorce with the better deal.
If you think your wife wants divorce, then you should start looking for divorce advice for husbands.
I recommend you start with my favorite men’s divorce strategy guide.
Reason #3: She’s Reconnected with an Old Flame
If your wife has a FaceBook account, then she can contact anyone from her past at anytime.
If there’s an ex-boyfriend or lover that lives close by, all it takes is a few clicks and keystrokes to rekindle that former relationship. For her, the best part is she can hide her actions with the excuse that she’s just “chatting with friends”.
Reason #4: She’s Tuning Out of the Marriage
As we’ve already established, apathy is a common emotional reaction to impending divorce. Your wife could be using the Internet as a way to “get out”… Basically as a way to distract herself from daily life.
If she feels there’s no hope of things turning up, emotional emptiness could be a legitimate explanation for her excess online activity.
As you can see, some of these reasons are worse than others, but no matter how you spin it, your wife spending tons of time on the computer can definitely be a sign that your wife wants a divorce.
Fighting Just for the Sake of Fighting
This divorce sign can usually be felt with your base intuition. If we’re honest, fighting constantly can make the best of us dream of a single life, even if we know we’d never actually want it.
Okay… Maybe frequent fighting doesn’t make you want divorce, but it does make you wonder what your wife’s thinking, right?
It can be difficult to keep a clear head in the heat of an argument, so I want you to reflect on these questions:
Can you identify a common theme in your fighting? Anything that seems like a common cause or trigger?
Is your wife aggressive or passive aggressive when she fights with you? If she’s aggressive, that means she’s openly attacking you, nagging at you and degrading you. If she’s passive aggressive, that means she’s subtly pushing your buttons, making backhanded remarks, and “putting you into a corner” that make you feel like you have to confront her.
How do the fights usually end? Does one of you leave the house? Does it end with tears or reconciliation? Does it end in the bedroom?
Is there any time of day or week that your wife seems “ready to fight”?
Perhaps the greatest indicator is: Do your fights with your wife ever go anywhere?
What do you think?
Does your gut tell you that your wife is fighting for the sake of fighting? Is this one of the signs that she wants a divorce?
She’s Given Up
Maybe you and your wife have been on the rocks for a while now, but you’ve been working on things and your marital problems have been getting better.
At least, you think so.
Then your wife gives up.
Maybe she’s stopped going to your counseling sessions with you. Maybe she’s no longer interested in going out with you, or maybe even in talking to you period (like in Sign #5).
If your wife has given up on your marriage, it’s usually obvious once you take half a second to think about it. In fact, most women will make a point of letting you know that she actively doesn’t care about you or your relationship.
If this describes your wife, you’ll know exactly what I mean here.
She Says Nothing’s Wrong,
But There’s Something She’s Not Saying
If you’ve known your wife for any time at all, you can probably tell when she’s lying. If not, you can at least tell how genuine her answer is.
If you ask her what’s wrong and her answer is “Nothing,” listen to your spider sense… Is there something going on that she’s not telling you?
I guess my whole point here is – trust your gut.
A lot of men lose confidence when their marriage gets to this state, but don’t ever discredit your own intuition.
There Was a Big Change in Your Marriage Recently
Sometimes people react badly to change… That’s just a fact of life.
If your marriage has gone through a significant change recently, that could be the catalyst for your wife’s new divorce-friendly perspective. For whatever reason, this change could be making your wife think about life without you.
Have any of these big changes happened in your marriage:
You or Your Wife Lost a Job
Changes in employment, and therefore money, almost always leads to new perspectives. The problem is when those new perspectives don’t coincide with your marriage.
Losing a job can lead to a loss of confidence for either spouse. A huge percentage of marriage problems are money-related.
You Just Had a Baby
Bouncy hormones, postpartum depression, financial strains that come with a bigger family, the stresses of being a new mom, plus any other marriage problems you’re already having… Yeah, I can see how a new child could lead anyone to consider divorce, even if you already have kids. Don’t underestimate the stress of child birth.
You Moved to a New Location
There are new people to meet, new things to do, new affairs to be had. I don’t mean any offense, of course, and please don’t take this as a sign your wife is cheating. I’m just saying that moving can do weird things to anyone.
She Got a New Job or Promotion
When people experience success, an inflated ego is natural. Suddenly, all the grass seems greener. If your wife has recently done well for herself financially or career-wise, then she may suddenly be reevaluating her priorities. Maybe she feels like she deserves an “upgrade”, or something childish like that.
And that concludes my top 10 most common signs your wife wants a divorce!
You Have 10 Signs Your Wife Wants a Divorce
I didn’t write this article so that you can rush off to find your own divorce attorney. In fact, DO NOT take anything in here as legal advice. The point isn’t to “beat her to the punch” to file for divorce.
My goal isn’t to tell you what your wife is thinking, and these signs aren’t set in stone.
Instead, the point of learning these divorce signs is that it gets you thinking about your marriage problems, about your wife, and about how she’s handling problems in your relationship.
I want you to think about why your wife would want to divorce you, and I want you to honestly decide whether or not it’s deserved. And I want you to think about what it will take to get your wife back.
Yes, I know these are tough questions, and there might not be a black and white answer… But it’s better to be thinking hard thoughts than not thinking at all.
When you think, you learn.
I know you still have some questions. I have lots of other articles on Husband Help Haven that I’d definitely recommend you take a look through.
Learn about My Favorite Marriage Resource for Men.
That course has really changed the way I think about marriage, and it’s highly recommended.
Well, I hope you enjoyed this article and found the signs your your wife wants a divorce helpful. I hope it’s inspired you to learn more about your marriage, and to be a better husband so that you can change the way your wife feels about divorce.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck, and thanks for reading!
With much manly love,