Can I Save My Marriage?

“Can I get my wife back? Can I save my marriage? Everything I’ve done has only pushed her away…”

Can I Save My MarriageAs I’m sure you already know, divorce rates are at an all-time high in America and around the world. Never before have there been so many failed marriages… It is the golden age for divorce attorneys everywhere.

Did you know that the average cost of a divorce is $20,000? Did you know that a simple one-hour phone call with a divorce attorney can cost over $400?

Believe me, I’ve seen my fair share of divorce and separation, and I know what it can do to a man; divorce is a lose-lose situation for all people involved, but I feel like men are hit particularly hard (most of the time).

After all, through a divorce you could lose half of everything that you own right now, and on top of that be required to pay alimony payments and child support every month for the foreseeable future, many times for 10 years and beyond.

Obviously, there are families where the mother is the ‘bread winner’ and thus the wife would be hit hard…I’m just speaking generally.

If you have kids, you’ll have to work out custody, which is never fun (for you or your family), and since many courts favor mothers over fathers (which actually isn’t entirely unfair – There are a lot of terrible fathers out there). You will likely get the short end of the stick on the child custody front, too.

And all that isn’t even including the emotional trauma and heartache that you will go through… Many men never recover confidence or self esteem after a divorce, and there’s nothing keeping you from being one more statistic on current marriage problems.

I know you, and I know that you want to avoid divorce by any means necessary. Don’t take my ‘The Good Husband’ story example the wrong way…It doesn’t make you weak if you want to save your marriage. It’s all about how you approach it and your wife’s perception of you.

“Yes or No…Can I Save My Marriage?”

Yes, I believe it’s never too late to save your marriage.

Nothing is guaranteed, but the only way to know for sure is to give it your all and show your wife the man she’s always wanted.

Recommended Resource: 10 Steps to Gain Husbandly Leadership (it’s a “pay what you want” guide to husbandly leadership)

I know that things seem impossible right now. I know that it feels like everything you’re doing is only further destroying your marriage. But believe me when I tell you that you can save your marriage no matter how bad things have become.

It’s not too late to save marriage…

  • Even if you or your wife has committed infidelity or adultery, or even if she continues to have an affair, you can get her back.
  • Even if you’re already divorced and the papers have been signed, you can get her back.
  • Even if you’re separated and she’s enjoying the single life while you’re left lonely and miserable, you can get her back.
  • Even if you’ve already tried marriage counseling, maybe even multiple counselors, and had no success, you can get her back.
  • Most importantly – Even if you are the only one making an effort to save your marriage, you can STILL get her back.

The saying “Where there’s a will, there’s a way” has a strong correspondence here, but it’s not quite as simple as that. You see, I know that you have the ‘Will’ to save your marriage, but the ‘Way’ that you’ve been taught is completely backwards. You’ve been taught that you need to rebuild a connection with your spouse, which is true, but what you’ve been taught about gaining a woman’s attention back is all wrong. The secret isn’t communication or couples counseling or conflict resolution.

No matter how much ‘Will’ you throw at the wrong ‘Way’, you’re not going to have an impact on your wife or your marriage. Conversely, when you find the right ‘Way’, it actually doesn’t take that much ‘Will’ to heat things up again…Things just naturally fall into place.

I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to give up hope. You can still get your marriage back on track, no matter what. It might be the most difficult thing you will ever do in your life, but I promise you that it is possible to make the reasons to stay with you outnumber the reasons to divorce, and the answer isn’t in some marriage counselor.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t act quickly…The longer you wait, the harder it is to make a difference in your wife’s feelings.

“Okay, I’m Ready, How Can I Get My Wife Back?”

What you need to do is focus on returning to the man that your wife fell in love with.

Here are some quick things you should try to get an idea of what might re-attract your wife to you

  1. Meditate back on who you were when you met your wife; what were you like back then?
  2. Try and find some old letters or emails or something that you wrote to or about your wife from the time…See what sounded different about you, what you said differently, what you did differently
  3. See if you can spend some time with your old buddies. You know, the ones that really bring you back, the ones that remind you what it’s like to be a man again.
  4. Get out there, enjoy yourself and re-ignite your manhood (that doesn’t mean sleep with some random bimbo; it means remember what it means to have testosterone flowing through your veins).

So, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop throwing a pity party and stop thinking that you’ll never be happy again…You can and you will continue to grow as a man. With or without your wife, things will get better, but it’s my job is to make sure things get better with your wife, not without.

But I need your help to make it happen – You have to be willing to forget everything you think you know about how women and relationships and marriage works, and change your perspective on attraction and love. I’m not going to tell you it takes ‘hard work’, because honestly it doesn’t…It just takes ‘hard understanding’.

I’ve talked a lot about what it takes to get your wife back in other articles…The purpose of this one is to reassure you that YES – NO MATTER WHAT you can get your wife back, even from the brink of divorce.

In fact, you can have the best marriage of your life even after being on the rocks, you just have to rebuild that attraction with your wife. When your wife FEELS like she wants you she will naturally stop thinking about divorce, leaving you, or being single, and she’ll start thinking about a happy future with you. The problem or question you need to address now is why your relationship has a lack of attraction?

“I Still Want to Know More About How I Can Save My Marriage”

 

Remember, the best you can do right now is to make the most of the things that are under your control. If you’re doing that, then you’re giving yourself the best chance possible of reconciling.

Stop trying to fix your wife; focus on fixing yourself.

If you want to know more about whether you can save your marriage after separation, and if so, how to do it, I recommend the following additional resources:

First, you should also grab a copy of the free guide, 9 Essential Traits of a Good Husband. This will also give you another chance to grab a copy of the 10 Steps guide I mentioned earlier, plus a 4-week free lesson series to guide you through your separation.

You may also want to read this post about how to get your wife back after separation.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck.

Much manly love,
– Jacob

Jacob
 

Hi! My name is Jacob. I'm a freelance writer by day, blogger and marriage thought-sharer at Husband Help Haven by night. Even though I'm not a marriage counselor, I want to encourage men everywhere to become better husbands, fathers and leaders. Click here to read more about me.